You know, the previews looked pretty good, and the premise of the movie seemed promising. That premise being that some of the most interesting and exciting characters of famous literary works come together in one story for a united purpose to form The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Unfortunately, however, this movie sucks.
Sean Connery hasn't been doing too good lately. After Entrapment, I was willing to forgive him, but after this, I might think twice about seeing his next film. In this movie, he plays Allan Quatermain. He is revered for his skill in the hunt, and his knack for surviving dangerous missions. However, Connery's suave British accent can't hide the fact that his lines were stupid and corny.
Quatermain is joined by six others: Tom Sawyer (all grown up), Rodney Skinner (the invisible man), Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, Captain Nemo (a "pirate" and a martial artist), Dorian Gray (immortal except for one unique weakness), and Mina Harker (a vampire chick, who was really the only interesting character in the whole film). Each are selected for their unique gifts in an effort to save the world (of course) from the mysterious, evil villain, the Fantom.
And that is where this movie truly fails, in the villain. The Fantom is so dumb and so over-the-top that you simply can't take this movie seriously. The plot attempts to add a little mystery into the true identity of the villain, and adds a traitor to the mix as well, but it is too late. The whole thing just becomes a complete and utter farce, and a boring one at that.
The worst part of this movie was in the attempted bonding between Quatermain and Tom Sawyer. The relationship tried to take on a father-son type of role, but it centered itself around the dumbest stuff I've ever seen. Quatermain tells Sawyer to "wait for the right moment" and "to have patience for the perfect shot" when shooting at a target. What is so dumb is that this involves allowing the target/enemy to get further and further and further away, thereby increasing the difficulty and reducing the odds of hitting the target. If I'm trying to shoot something/someone, and it/they are running away, why would I wait several minutes before taking a shot?
Finally, the movie ends with a really hoaky death scene and an even cornier funeral. The remaining members of the League stand around the grave and then walk off into the sunset together to go find another enemy. Please, spare us all the sequel.
Skip it.
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